What a Day to be a Gentleman

"Gentleman" is a term that gets tossed around rather haphazardly these days.  If a fellow does so much as open a door for a woman, he earns the title just like that.  I, being a pure bred Gentleman through and through, do not like this one bit.  A gentleman is not a man who simply opens doors for ladies, a TRUE gentleman is the kind of person who shows up in a full suit and bow tie EVERYWHERE he goes, and who lifts a woman off her feet when approaching a puddle, whether the woman is willing or not.  You gotta FORCE that gentle nature to be a GENTLEMAN!

Dressed to Kill Ladies: Figuratively Speaking

So I decided to take it upon myself to teach these gentle sissy's a lesson in manhood. Today I watched as a man opened the door for his dame, and heard her say "What a gentleman".  At the precise moment those words left her mouth, I rushed the "gentleman" and shoved his "gentle" face into the "gentle" pavement.  The woman screamed at me and asked me what the hell I was doing, at which point I lifted her off her feet and placed her on the roof of the building, where she would not need to worry about muddy puddles.

It's a good time to be a gentleman!