Right then!
After spending a few minutes repeatedly asking the Wiki-People how I can get back to MY home, we stumbled into quite a few barely related topics and wound up in an in-depth discussion regarding religious cults centered around the worship of house pets.
"I myself find it intriguing that these people actually delude themselves into believing it's the dog's benefit to have it dressed up like a fairy princess, you'd think the constant stream of barking and whining would indicate that the dogs aren't fond of playing dress-up."
One of the Wiki-Women opened her mouth to object to my comment, but the sudden appearance of the Google vortex interrupted her as that fine-looking Google Woman stepped out to speak to me.
"Hello again sir, I'm afraid I must interrupt this session to ask you if you would like me to set you up a free emailing account. Would you like me to set you up a free emailing account? It's called Gmail! Isn't that clever?"
It was more or less at this point when I realized once again where I was and where I was originally intending to go. I straightened my digital bow-tie and tipped my cyber-hat to the lady as I approached her.
"I don't know what an e-mail or G-mail is, but I need to-"
A loud and rather obnoxious buzzing sound suddenly emitted from Google-Lady's mouth, catching me by surprise as I waited for something even more bizarre to happen. Then it happened.
"You've just been Googled sir! Please stay still while I connect you to your Googler."
"I sure don't like the sound of that."
As I finished the word, 'that', I found myself suddenly thrusted back into the violent swirling vortex of the internet. As numbers and letters flew past me, I finally flew out of the vortex and smacked my body against the surface of what appeared to be a large orange-tinted glass dome, with a dark green room decorating the interior. The room inside seemed to be a viewing station of some sort, as many of the inner walls were covered with large televisions and glowing monitors. As the dizziness from the vortex warping wore off, I came to notice that there appeared to be a scrawny armored scientist operating one of the monitors below me.
"Hey! Are you my Googler?"
As I shouted I suddenly noticed that this "glass" dome didn't feel much like glass, as it buzzed and shook while I was pressed against it.
"Computer, disable Pop-up blocker."
The scientist motioned towards one of the monitors as he said it, and after a few moments, the large orange dome I was currently on top of, popped out of existence.
After regaining consciousness, I woke to find that I was in some sort of digitized prison cell, with glowing green lasers taking the place of bars. A large red chair in front of my cell slowly spun around as the scientist formed a particularly devilish smile on his face when his chair spun enough to face me.
 |
| The Evil Dr. Zodiac |
"Dr. Zodiac.....I should have guessed.."
I growled under my breath, glaring deep into my old enemy's swollen, old, evil eyes.
"It's good to see you too Mr. Shits. How long has it been again? A year? Two years?"
Dr. Zodiac cackled as he spoke, his laugh somewhat resembling the sound a turkey might make after being decapitated.
"The name is Liveshitz and it's actually only been 3 months old chap.."
Dr. Zodiac's smile faded as he stood up from his chair.
"Enough of your tomfoolery Mr. Shitz! It matters not how long ago since our last battle, what matters is that you're here now...and we have some catching up to do.."
"What is it you want from me Zodiac?"
"Oh nothing much....just my revenge is all. It may be hard to believe a genius like me would ever have trouble finding ways to make money, but after our last encounter, my online career selling tarantula meats was ruined. So I just figured I would return the favor. A little Twitter birdie told me that a certain Gentleman has his very own blog..."
"My Fancy Blog?? What have you done with it?"
"Nothing at all actually, but that's exactly the point. People only read blogs when they are UPDATED. When you don't update your blog, less people read it, and soon enough, NOBODY WILL. You will be just another useless droplet in the ocean of blogs! Muahahahaha!"
As Dr. Zodiac laughed his vicious turkey laugh, I pulled at the glowing green lasers that imprisoned me, but to no effect. My blog was going to die, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
To be Continued....
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