I beat down a bear with my bare fists.

Well I must say I'm quite thrilled that pun-title grabbed your attention!  I've been thinking all day about what a good pun would be to include in one of my Bloggy posts, and it suddenly came to me when I was sitting on top of a swollen, worn out bear, beating its pathetic face in with my golden knuckles of glory.

But that's a rather boring subject isn't it?  Let's talk about something else!  Like pretzels perhaps! Or maybe about my new theory on time travel!  I think pretzels sounds like an interesting enough subject, I'll go with that one.

If you've ever seen a pretzel, you will notice that they are literally art sculptures made out of buttered bread.  The elegant swirls and knots and twirls, it all makes me want to dance and giggle like a lassy in her brand new lollipop dress!  Ahem... but I would never do that of course.  Because I'm a man.   A big burly man.  I have a mustache to prove it!!  Ahem.  Anyway, back to the amazing acrobatic pretzel.

Learning from the joy pretzels had brought me since I was a young strapping lad, I knew there had to be a way to expand this joy beyond the boundaries of salted dough.  I went into my private office, shut the door, pulled my pants down, sat on the Jon, and brainstormed this pretzel theory.   My mind went on rapid journey through time and space, and when I arrived back home, it hit me.  Why is ballet so boring?  Well it would be less boring if the dancers were pretzel shaped wouldn't it?

Long story short, I was totally right.  The dancer's didn't seem to show much appreciation for my work though, as most of them appeared to be screaming in agony as I twisted them into pretzel shaped people.  I even salted one of them to add that final delicate touch. Ah well, at the very least, that was probably the most entertaining ballet I ever saw.  Cheers!

What a Marvelous Treat