Birthday Bashing

Sitting in my study this afternoon, whilst busily chewing away at what little wood is left on my pencil, a strange thought entered my mind.  This thought manifested itself as a blog post, right here on this very website, starting on the next paragraph. Starting.....now!

Why are birthdays so important to us?  I mean sure, it's the same numbered day as the day you were born, but in that case why don't we have birth hour?  Birth week?  Birth month?  The fact of the matter is, we all seem to think we need a day for ourselves at least once a year. A day that lets us know that yes, people do care you were spat out into the world, and no, you will never get all those hours of wasted time back.  I, however, believe it's all just an excuse to bask in your own swollen ego.

Because of birthdays and all the fanatic gift-giving and celebrating that surrounds them, I decided to dedicate an article to bashing in common arguments as to why birthdays still exist, and to help you, the readers, recognize why I believe birthdays are a load of bull-shiner.

So here it is folks, Nique's Birthday Bash! 

That's right, You WILL laugh.  It's a baby.  You can't resist.

Common Argument: Birthdays are special because they help make us unique.

Nique's Answer: Well that's a bit narrow minded isn't it?  The day isn't unique at all!  In fact it draws away from the uniqueness in you by reminding you of all the other screaming babies that were being delivered the same time as you.  You're just one umbilical-cord-cut out of many.

Common Argument: When it's your Birthday, you get to reflect on how much you've grown.

Nique's Answer: I always thought that's what New Year's was for.  Besides, there is hardly time to reflect on your past mistakes when you're busy paying attention to what a perfect little angel you are.

Common Argument: Presents! Cake! Candles!

Nique's Answer: Spoiled! Fat! Fire Department!


Common Argument: How can you criticize birthdays for being days where you can bask in your own ego when you clearly do the same thing every day of the year?

Nique's Answer: Precisely, who would want to limit their self-loving sessions to a single day?


Well that's all the bashing I can muster for today, so as a final note, let me just say this.

Happy Birthday!