I am Offended.

I was browsing around on the world-wide-web this morning, looking to see if there was some new electronic way to get my morning tea.  When my search for some sort iTea application ended in failure, I figured I'd cheer myself up by doing what everyone does when they need to feel good about themselves using the internet.  I typed my name up in the internet searching bar.

I suppose my name is too innovative and original for any silly search bar to recognize, as it tried to correct me saying "Did you mean Nick Lives?"  Not caring enough to click on the correction, I simply retyped a description of myself.

"Top Hat wearing, Mustache sprouting, Woman catching British gentleman"

THIS is what came up.

 Curly mustache, white-toothed smile, fashionable top-hat, but all with one major difference:  This gentleman is clearly supposed to be some sort of VILLAIN! 

Now, normally I wouldn't draw conclusions from pictures such as this, considering I'm most certainly not the only man in the world with a mustache and top-hat, but what concerned me about THIS particular picture, is how closely it resembled my Senior yearbook picture at Whipper-Snapper High School.  I'll post it below for reference.

As you can see, aside from a couple of more masculine body lines from my high school picture, they are practically identical! 

Now I confess I didn't look my most handsome in high school, as my uni-brow had formed quite thickly that morning, perhaps giving my smile an "evil" or "devious" vibe, but such exaggerated cartoons depicting me as some sort of evil villain?  Simply barbaric!  I will not stand having my image and name tainted like this, mustached men who wear black top hats are not comical villains by default, we are merely men.

This stereotype is something us mustached men must fight.  From here on out, any anti-mustache propaganda that prowls the internet will be taken care of by me, personally.  And by "personally" I mean in the most physically painful way imaginable, in case that wasn't a clear threat.

Well, I believe I'm pretty much out of things to complain about for today, so cheerio and I'll see you all all on Monday!

Oh wait here's one more.

This one caught me by surprise, if only because this actually did happen to me once.  Believe it or not, but that Cowboy was one vile piece of work.