Mustache Twirling Monday

Flipping through the old photo album today, I came across an old portrait of my dear late Grand-Pappy.  Better known to the family as "Uncle Foosh".  The rather silly nickname derived from the sound his back-hair would make anytime he removed his shirt.  FOOSH!

Uncle Foosh's back-hair looked almost like miniature bat-wings the way it extended from his back and fanned out to his sides.  Despite his somewhat odd appearance, I always saw Uncle Foosh as somewhat of a role model to me, and that's why today's update will be my tribute to Uncle Foosh's favorite past-time:  Growing immense ammounts of facial hair.

Dear old Uncle Foosh

Facial hair often tends to get a bad rep, what with it's tendency to preserve extra bits of food in it's bristles, as well its scratchy-like feel.  For these reasons and many more, most modern men simply just shave them off on a daily basis.  This has to stop my fellow gentleman, this hatred for facial sprouting has to come to an end.  Many men don't realize it, but facial hair has been a very important evolutionary tool in the battle for survival, for many many generations.

In the stone ages, men would disguise their beards as prehistoric bird nests, and lay still on the gravel until their flying prey would lay fresh eggs within the bristles.  Without facial hair, many prehistoric wives and children would have gone without breakfast.

In Medieval Europe, noble knights would grow out large mustaches, to intimidate their enemies when going out into battle.  In those days, only the men with mustaches had a chance of survival.

Even in modern day, goatees are used as status symbols amongst bar-patrons and rock-stars.  The scruffy chins being an indicator of strong-will and rebellious nature.  Even popular images of Devils portray them as goatee-sprouting mischief makers.  This just goes to show what a simple patch of facial hair can do for your manly reputation.

So remember fellow men, facial hair is our history and our pride, and we must not let razors be the end of our manliness!  Uncle Foosh, may you rest in peace.