As some of you may know I'm a bit of a film buff, and as such I always do enjoy a silly old comedy now and then to help ease some of the tension that comes with being one of the world's most strapping men. But even comedies, with their silly characters and often nonsensical plots, have standards. Certain jokes can often be a bit too crude, or sometimes a comedy film simply tells a joke that has lost its luster well over a decade ago.
After a 48 hour-long session of drinking coffee and watching comedy after comedy, both old and new, I have compiled a list of the top ten comedy cliches that desperately need to die before they do anymore damage to the film industry and its consumers.
10. Pun Fun!
Mostly making an appearance in comedy titles, this little cretin has overstayed its welcome. A welcome in fact, that wasn't even really a warm welcome to begin with, more like the type of welcome you'd give to a Repo man who barges into your house to take all your expensive valuables. Movies like "Bee Movie", "Legally Blonde" and "Vampires Suck" all take buck-toothed pride in their "clever" movie titles.
9. The Dog Sniffs Butts.
This one just never seems to go away does it? Every time I'm watching a film concerning dogs in any way, shape or form, the same joke comes back. "Dogs sniff butts hahaha!" This may have been funny the first time, or even the second time, but we've reached the point where this joke just isn't relevant anymore. Dogs are salivating, excitable, often funny looking creatures, and all we can come up with is that they sniff each-other's butts? What a world for dog jokes.
8. The Bad Guy is Short.
This one surprises me simply because every time it happens the movie tries to pull it off as an original idea. The camera pans along the baddie's feet as he stomps around, and then as the music reaches a particular evil chord, we zoom back to reveal our vertically-challenged villain. "Shrek", "Hoodwinked", "Elf", and several other less-notable films all have the same punchline. Ironically enough, there has yet to be a descent film starring Napoleon Bonaparte as the villain.
7. The Sassy Gay Guy.
So it has occurred to me that in today's world, we have people referred to as "Gays". While originally I had thought this was a word to describe an extremely happy man, the usage of the word to describe myself at "Hugo's Manly Pub" resulted in the actual definition being beaten into my flesh bag. This fact aside, I now know what "Gay" means. I also know what it doesn't mean, and it doesn't mean a man who talks in a lisp while tossing his hand around flamboyantly. This may be true for some gays, but it isn't common enough to justify every gay character in comedy films being the SAME SASSY GAY GUY EVERY TIME. In all honesty, it feels like one writer decided to sneak his sassy gay character in everyone else's script, because there is literally no difference between these stereotypes.
6. The Fat Guy Falls.
Now this is a sticky one isn't it? In most comedies, they employ a tactic called "slapstick". As the name implies, it usually involves the characters getting hurt in various different ways, some of those ways involving sticks or slapping. This has proven to be a very successful tactic, as it is flexible enough to be done in a variety of creative ways. One thing that has gotten rather stale, however, is the exploitation of some of the chubbier characters. Oftentimes films attempt to wring more laughs out by making the slapping-stick victim a fat guy. From this point on, the films wants you to know that whatever he does is going to be doubly hilarious because he's fat. Seeing blubber vibrate may be funny in a disgusting ironic way, but if you keep waving that particular flag it's going to collapse under it's own weight.
5. He's got a Small Willy.
Need I say more? This one is pretty much tied with "She's got big jugs" when it comes to overdone and needless exploitation jokes.
4. Jingle the Family Jewels.
Better known as "Hit in the Crotch" jokes, this also falls under the slapstick category of humor, but unlike most slapstick jokes, this one hits the same spot every time. Yes I'll admit I got my Ping-Pongs pricked by a rather nasty spearhead once, and yes it hurt like the dickens, but it doesn't get funnier the more I tell the story. The same applies to filmmakers and their obsession with man-parts.
3. Fart Jokes.
I know I'm not alone hating this one. Think back to the last time you genuinely laughed at a fart joke. Were you drunk? Was it at a party? Were you five years old? These jokes are the comedy equivalent of parasites. Still alive, and only draining from the pool of society. *Poot*
2. Sarcastic Rants
Well if you made it this far, obviously this one doesn't bug you. *Snicker*
1. Pop Culture! Ha?
The Mastermind of all annoying comedy films, Pop culture references are nothing to joke about. Not because there is nothing to poke fun about them, as there is usually an abundance of things to jab at, but because they age so fast. Nothing tells you how old a film more than characters discussing how silly the new disco records are. A good joke is one that does not require you to have prior knowledge to get it. Jokes follow a simple formula. The Set-Up, The Build-Up, and the Punchline. Pop Culture jokes are easy to make mostly because the first step of telling the joke has already been done for you. You don't need to tell the audience what the joke is about, because they presumably already know of it. This causes these jokes to immediately lose appeal the second the popular fad or reference has passed, and makes for a bad film overall if used to frequently. The recent "Movie Movies" such as "Epic Movie", "Disaster Movie" and "Superhero Movie" have all depended heavily on pop culture jokes for laughs. As a result, they die out rather quickly, simply piling dead material on top of the film industry's idea bucket.
So there you have it. My very own top ten list. It seems like what I was really trying to say throughout this whole article is...
Watch More Rocket Launches!!
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